Today all I see is a big black hole. I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, I don't know where I am going. It's cold outside, cold inside too, so I wrap up in my duvet all cosy and drift off in to dream land, where everything's fine. Nothing can get to me in sleep, I hide away from life and reality. Get up, you can't spend all day in dreams, you've got a life to live. I don't want to wake. I drag myself from my slumber, roll a cigarette, go out in to the cold and listen to the rain pattering down. Turn the heating dial, let's get some warmth in here. Turn on the lights, don't let darkness in. The dark is never ending. Press play, listen to music, soothing lyrics. I'm not the only one who has felt this way, the music tells me. It's not all going to end today, you've just got to pursue your dreams and not let life bring you down. That's the message I'm getting, I just don't know how they all get by. Today I want to sleep forever, and I will. I'll face reality tomorrow, I promise you. Today I'm going to live in my world of lyrics, sweet voices and instruments, sleep and dreams. I just cannot face the world today, and I'm not even sorry. I've been trying so hard, but today it's got to me, let's see what tomorrow brings. I have my doubts of it bringing good things.
-12th December 2011
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