The Big Bottomless Pit.

I want to jump in to the pit, let them bury me in it. Fuck the rubble in my brain, let's feel something real again. The wind is howling, it roars at me. Lashes at my cheeks. I step inside, but it is not warm and cosy in here. My stomach feels empty, it tries to tell me to eat but I cannot be bothered with anything. I'm already in the pit, I'm already buried in it. The rubble's being heaped on top of me, and now I can no longer breathe. I'm dying, but it's a slow painful death. Just smile, and laugh. Try to pretend everything's okay, and maybe it will be one day. But I've lost my positive outlook on life lately. I'm admitting defeat, the depression has eaten me up and swallowed me in bits, I'm in pieces. On the floor, crying out for help. Help has come and gone, now you're on your own. In the big bottomless pit. Alone. Go out there and fight for everything, go out there and try to do something. But what do I do? There's nothing I can do. I cannot change the world, I cannot resolve anything that's wrong here. All I can do is hide away, bury my head in shame. I'm just a girl, I can't change the world. I can't change anything. This is the way I am. I'm a ball of darkness, it's buried deep. I cannot change the way I think.