Every piece of music reminds me of you, every lyric sends signals to my heart and it quivers, remembering you, once again. Every page of every book, every time I see people all loved up. I'm definitely still ill, I'm sick with missing you. And I don't know if we'll ever get what we had back. The thought of never touching you again, tenderly kissing you on the forehead, never feeling your lips brush mine, it kills me inside. I don't know what this is, in the past I named it love, and it could be. I don't want to say those words, I think they're too much right now. They were too much for you to take, maybe it was just all too soon. But do we get another shot? I'll take it slow this time around, I'll do it all properly. Learn more about you as time goes by, write you poetry and stories with happy endings. You are the one I want to hand me over to, I'm mine first and foremost, and I'm building myself back up, I'm becoming stronger all the time. I try my best not to give in to the weakness too much. But you, you are my biggest weakness, and you're there all the time. You're there in my mind, but you're not here. You're out there somewhere and it's been a while since I heard from you last. If it's all over, that's okay. I want you to be happy, regardless of how I feel. I'd give it all up for you. And I guess I could move on, I can be that strong. I just don't want to move on from you, because the feeling I get when I'm around you, when I see your smile, see you undress... everything about you just takes my breath.
-8th December 2011
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